Finding Purpose: What am I good at and how can I pursue it?
I’m so excited to have Kyle, founder of Turn Key, a personal development service (what I refer to as life coaching), back this month focusing on finding your purpose and small steps to take to figure out what you’re good at and how to pursue it. Each month Kyle will be making a guest appearance on Curated by MoJo to chat about practices that she uses with her clients to reach their highest potential in all facets of life. If you missed last month’s about creating personal growth habits now that will pay off post-COVID, make sure to check it out here.
If you’ve been following me for awhile or know me on a personal level, you probably know that I am fueled by my passion projects — which, until recently were “side hustles”. I’m notoriously indecisive in most areas of my life, causing me anxiety always wondering if I’m on the right path or how to know what my purpose is. On the one hand I feel like I am acutely aware of what my strengths are and what I love doing, and on the other hand, I am overwhelmed by how many things I love — fashion, food, mental health, wellness, sustainability, and interiors, just to name a few. Since working with Kyle and practicing exercises to hone in on what I’m good at and plunging in the direction of what I want (versus what I think I want), I feel like I have such a clearer vision for myself, giving me the confidence to lean more into those things that were once side gigs and are now becoming the reason for my existence — what gets me up every morning and why I sit at my computer every night well past my bedtime simply because I am giddy about the things I am working on. To put it simply, for the first time in my life, I feel a sense of purpose in the work I am doing, and it feels rewarding to me every single day, even on the bad days.
This month, Kyle breaks down a simple exercise that will get you digging a little deeper to figure out what your purpose is. Some of us know our strengths and feel that they are a vital part of our being, others of us are still figuring out what we’re good at and what makes us tick. This exercise is so valuable for those who know what they want, and for those who are straddling say a job that pays their bills and a passion project that fuels their soul. For me, doing this exercise honored my indecisiveness while helping me to focus in on what I want to prioritize between the things that I like, the things I’m good at, and the things I care about. Dive into Kyle’s exercise below, or simply save her template for the next time you’re feeling inspired to start something fresh.
Break it down.
My first reaction to the question of “what is my purpose?” is: whoa, that is a HUGE question. Meaning that, we can probably answer it more easily and effectively if we break it down. One of my favorite definitions of purpose that I’ve come across is Sara Blakely’s. She defines purpose as a combination of 3 things - what “brings you joy,” “the skills you're good at,” and “how you'd like to serve the world.” So, according to the founder of SPANX (aka our Hosiery Lord & Savior), Step 1 in defining your purpose is asking yourself: What do I like (what brings me joy)? What am I good at (what skills am I gifted with)? What difference do I want to make in the world (what is something bigger than myself that I care about)? These are the questions that we are going to answer today through an exercise I am tentatively calling the “Purpose Chart.”
Trust what you see.
Now, before you grab a sheet of paper to start answering these questions and creating your Purpose Chart, it’s important to lay some groundwork for interpreting what you are about to reveal to yourself. The #1 thing we need in order to turn this exercise into meaningful action of any kind is to trust what we see. To trust that what we write down is an authentic response from ourselves. I know it sounds corny, but putting pen to paper is a direct line to what’s deep down inside, to what we really want. Therefore, before we start asking ourselves questions that have big implications, it’s critical to ground ourselves in trust - and commit to checking self-doubt at the door - so we can take what we really want, seriously.
Dive in and go deep!
Ok now that we’ve broken down the questions we’re going to be answering and we’ve reconnected with our sense of trust, we’re ready to dive in! Grab a blank sheet of paper and write the above 3 questions in a row along the top of the page, somewhat spaced out. Begin to answer each question in list form. Go for an uninhibited stream of consciousness style of writing down what comes to you. It’s key to only include in your chart what you know is true about you, your strengths, and your interests--try to avoid the trap of writing down what you want-to-want to be good at or do. For example, if you know you are good with numbers and that has led you down the path of data analytics but you know those roles don’t satisfy you, what is the truth about how you want to put your math skills to work? Write that down in your chart ;) Once you have a couple answers bulleted out under each question, challenge yourself to go deeper (there’s probably more that you’ve just never thought of before, or allowed yourself to entertain). Once you feel complete in terms of your answers, sit with them uninterrupted for a couple of minutes.
Keep two things in mind:
One, don’t panic! If what you see written down on the page looks completely different than what you’re currently doing with your life, THAT IS OK. The probability of that being the case is high as this may be the first time you’ve actually sat down to answer all of these questions authentically (in tandem, no less). Try not to panic. Go back to your trust. Know that your answers are good and true, even if what you’re seeing feels like news to you or seems completely unrealistic. And if what you see written on the page feels like a pretty close description of the life you’re already living, great! Trust that too. Two, a dose of fear can be a good indicator ;) Understand that there has to be some fear and discomfort for growth to take place. If what’s showing up on your Purpose Chart, and what you’re starting to imagine as your next move, is exciting to you and scary--it’s exciting to you and it’s uncomfortable--that is a good thing.
Now what?!
Circle the one bullet from each list that feels like your non-negotiable in terms of what you like, what you’re good at, and what you care about (respectively). The circled bullet should be the most important item on each list, according to you. Now, write down at least 1 way that those 3, circled bullets can come together to form a career-path, role, or project. This is the crux of your purpose--the intersection of your three lists. It is expected that this step of the Purpose Chart exercise will take some time, defining your purpose is an inherently hard thing to do after all :) Pro-tip: sometimes vague is better (no need to include specifics if you don’t have them), and describe your opportunities as if they are currently happening. For instance, “I am working for a CPG company that creates new options for people with food allergies.” Notice how this example includes no mention of titles, or jargon, or how you are doing what you’re doing. It is simply a high-level description of a career- / life- path that could hypothetically be in your Purpose Chart. To provide another example of something even more vague, Sara Blakely’s “purpose” read something like this: “I want to serve women. I feel inspired to make products for women better.” So, anything goes! Just keep it true to what’s in your chart :)
Follow your energy.
Once you’ve come up with ideally 1-3 career-paths, roles, or projects from the most important points in your chart, write each one down on it’s own notecard, tape the notecards to a wall you interact with every day (e.g. the wall you face when you get ready in the morning), and live with them for a week. Bonus points if you can keep a weekly log / journal of how you feel about these options throughout the week. By the end of the week you will likely have a gut feeling about which direction excites you the most, and then it’s all about putting action steps in place to get there! What excites you - even if there’s some fear mixed in - is your energy. Trust it, and follow it!
