¡Protect Your Face! A Round Up of Hats You Need For Your Quaran-tan

You know what looks great in your 50s? Face protection in your 20s!

I always thought I wasn’t a hat person. I remember my mom always gifting me hats among other accessories and dreading them, throwing them in the back of my closet, but never having the heart to donate them. And then I started washing my hair less, which meant getting creative with ways to disguise my thus dirty hair, because unlike many people who only wash their hair once a week, my hair gets gross. And then there was a summer when I was in college when I started noticing wrinkles on my forehead from squinting so much that I reached into the moving hidden hat pile and pulled one out to attempt to stop the wrinkles. Turns out, it stopped me from squinting AND shielded my face from the rays, of which are not weak in Boulder, Colorado, leading me to a lifestyle of never allowing sun on my face again.

As many people close to me know, I easily go from zero to one hundred in my opinions (in this case, hating hats to collecting hats), so it was no surprise when two years ago my hat collection grew too big to fit in any closet and I was forced to move it to a wall in my apartment which I liked to think of an art installation of the pile of hats. Anyway, now we have moved to another apartment with thrice the amount of closet space, and once again, my (now) precious hats have found their way into a pile in one of them, gathering dust - or should I say, hibernating for winter - until now. 

A few weeks ago I received the first (maybe only, given my current circumstances) hat collection addition of 2020, the Banu hat from Cult Gaia, and after wearing it on Saturday to protect my face from the said glorious warm sun that I haven’t felt in months, I went to go put it where it belongs -- you know -- with the other hats. Until! I realized that these hats that bring me so much joy don’t belong in a dark, unorganized, utterly chaotic closet amongst bags I refuse to throw out, cleaning supplies, and Christmas decorations. And in that moment, I decided that the rest of my weekend may be spent on Zoom calls with family and moving no further than the boundaries of my terrace, and mindlessly gazing into my refrigerator thinking about what snack I will indulge in next -- BUT I will also find a new wall for my hats to live.

I digress…

What I had the intention of coming on here to say is how hats are the single best accessory. Dirty hair? Hat. Running errands and don’t want to be approached by people you haven’t seen since high school? Hat. Scrolling Instagram while in the sun with your phone brightness at its max? Hat. Sitting in the sun, periodt? Hat.

Besides the endless utilities of said accessory, they make every outfit look chicer. No but seriously - dare I invite you to put on your father’s sweatpants, your mother’s latest 5K t-shirt, Birkenstocks, and A STRAW HAT? Or might I suggest you pull that sun dress out from the closet that you swore you would wear at least once a week and haven’t worn once since the first week you bought it? Add a hat. Speaking of things I suggest, in honor of MDW this weekend, scroll further to feast your eyes (and hopefully your head) to your next best purchase.

VISORS

They’re great because you get the shade and chic of a hat without sweaty hat hair.

OVER THE TOP

The kind of hats that need nothing else to the outfit. No but seriously, I envision myself in the nude on an isolated beach with a full production team in any of these.

TIMELESS CHIC

You can’t go wrong with these ever.

BOATERS

No Italian canal required ;)

FEDORAS

Another style that never goes out of style and is perfect for when you’re running out of the house with any look.

BUCKET HATS

It has come to my attention that not everyone is sold on bucket hats but I am here to make a case for them. Need a hat to just throw in your bag? Bucket hat. A hat that is no frills (pun intended)? Bucket hat. A hat that does the trick of a hat without the commitment? Bucket hat.